Red watches Total Drama
by AlmightyGeorgiaCrusher
Summary: After a interruption of The Green Bay Packers opening game...Red watches a new TV Show that he gets hooked on called "Total Drama" and likes it. Rated M for Language, Alcohol Comsumption, and OOCness. Birthday gift for UltimateWarriorFan4Ever. ENJOY!


" **Red watches Total Drama"**

 **Rated M for Language, and alcohol drinking.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Total Drama. I also do not own a damn thing from That 70's show either. This probably might be my cure for Writer's Block, P.S. this takes place after season 6 and Eric left did leave Donna before their wedding.**

 **Summary: This is my version of "Red The Brony" but this time, Red Forman being the Anti-Canadian that he is will check out Total Drama for the very first time, Imagine that the kids did move out and Imagine that Total Drama was in the 1970's. P.S. this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever's birthday gift. YOU ARE WELCOME MY MAN! ENJOY!**

It was a beautiful Sunday Afternoon as Kitty left a while ago to see her parents and Eric Forman was finally at college about goddamn time as Red finally had the house to himself today.

"This is going to be the best day in a long-time!" Red said as he grabbed his favorite items.

He finally got the ok from his quack of a doctor to eat his favorite goodies again so he managed to grab a bowl of his favorites: Doritos, Chips Ahoy Cookies, and finally a six pack of full Budweiser Beer.

Suddenly, he gathered them into the living room right into the front of the TV.

"No Kitty, no dumbasses in my damn basement, and no Bob and Midge which means freedom for the rest of the afternoon! This is what God and I discussed after my heart attack." Red said as he pressed the button on the remote, turning on the TV.

" _We welcome you to the home opener between the Green Bay Packers, and the Minnesota Vikings, live from legendary Lambeau Field!"_ The male announcer said.

"Damn right announcer guy!" Red smirked as he opened a can of beer and he began drinking, a news announcer's voice was on:

" _ **We Interrupt this Program to bring you a news bulletin!"**_

Then Red spit out his beer like he was doing a spit take.

"Oh, come on now!" Red whined.

"Why do you have to do this kind of crap to me every time something good is on? Like in 1958?! We had the damn Yankees beat! Then the Milwaukee Braves screwed it up more times then Gilligan screwing everything up, and like my own son screwing up his own engagement! The 1958 Braves were dumbasses like the news people!" Red ranted before he relaxed.

"Okay…relax." Red said.

" _We have reports of a 21 year old young man, robbing the campus store at University of Wisconsin, and taking everyone down at the campus store but we have no deaths because all he is using is a whiffle ball bat and a light-saber as the suspect is Caucasian and 148 pounds with a haircut of Dorothy Hamill."_ The announcer said.

"That dumbass of a man! He's running my game!" Red shouted as he was pissed off.

" _We'll try to keep you updated as soon as possible, but for the people who are watching the Green Bay Packers/Minnesota Vikings game we'll keep you posted on the score."_ The announcer said.

"Well this ruins my Sunday." Red growled a bit.

"Why is my son, holding out a whiffle-ball-bat and a lightsaber at a campus store?! My son is a complete dumbass!" Red growled out once again being completely pissed off before he changed his channel to Bob Ross panting.

" **Happy Little Tree here…Happy Little Tree There…"**

"Shitty Program." Red said before he changed the channel to ABC.

" **Next on All My Children…"**

"Nope, not after my experience with Midge ad soap operas…bye." Red said as he changed it to CBS.

" **WKRP…In Cincinnati."**

"No…what's next?" Red said, irritated before he changed the channel to see two guys singing.

" **I Wanna Be Famous…"**

"OH! CRAP! Great!" Red said as he was fuming.

"I get the show from Canada about 22 dumbass dopeheads and their stereotypes!" Red said before he grabbed the remote deciding to change it but strangely enough, he doesn't and places it down and begins to watch.

" _Yo! Chris McLean coming to you live from Camo Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host, Chris McLean!"_ Chris said on the TV introducing himself.

"Camp Wawa-huh?" Red said as he was confused as he can be.

"This is a TV Show in Canada…and 22 Dopeheads, are going to compete for crappy tabloid fame. Dumbasses." Red smirked as he grabbed some Doritos and began eating.

"DJ looks huge, he could be a mean tackle for the Packers...and Geoff looks like he has a great arm but how in the world did he jump off of his boat like that? That kid must be a dumbass." Red said whe he stopped eating the Doritos until the 22 contestants mwere on the top of the cliff in their swimsuits.

"Holy Crap! Some of them look really hot, Midge 2.0 and Jackie 2.0 look really sexy in their swimsuits, if I were a younger more flexible man…I could take them both." Red said until he heard the distance of the drop.

"1,000 feet? I can do that…and live! Those producers are on dope." Red said before he drank his can of beer while Heather began to speak on the tube.

" _I'm sorry. But I'm not jumping._ " Heather said on the TV.

" _Why Not?_ " Beth asked her.

"Yeah why not you commie?" Red said also.

" _Hello, International Television, I could get my hair wet."_ Heather replied back answering Beth's question.

"Come on! You wuss! You don't wanna cost you're team the challenge?!" Red shouted as he saw LeShawna and Heather argue for the next 30 seconds.

" _At least, I'm popular._ " Heather said on the TV.

"Wow…just like real life, these Canadians aren't bad." Red said as he kept on watching the rest of the episode.

"That is what Ezekiel got for making those sexist comments, fucking dumbass." Red said as he finished his first can.

"But that Owen he dove like he was Bob on the run, and created huge splash." Red said as another episode began.

" _She drives me nuts! She rocks my world."_ Trent said in his confession.

"Of course, she drives you nuts. She's like a female version of Sid Vicious from The Sex Pistols mixed with Steven and she's extremely pale!" Red commented on Gwen and Trent just for kicks as he saw Trent get out of the lake.

"But…Trent is very lucky to have a girl like Gwen, he better not be a dumbass and mess it up." Red said as he saw Heather and Trent interact.

"What are you doing?" Red asked Trent like he was actually here.

" _She thinks my music sucks?_ " Trent asked Heather before they kept talking.

"Don't listen to her you dumbass! It's like Kelso dating my daughter but 100 times worst if they kiss." Red said before it happened.

"No, don't kiss that Queen Bee you dumbass! Think about Gwen! THINK ABOUT GWEN!" Red screamed out as he was on his hands and knees begging as then it happened.

"NO! NO! NO!" Red shouted before he started crying tears of sadness.

"WHY DID YOU DO IT YOU DUMBASS! AT LEAST YOU ARE COOL AND UNLIKE MY SCREW UP OF A SON ERIC!" Red said as he was still crying a bit.

"ERIC! ERIC! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE RIGHT NOW!" Red ordered as Eric came out of the basement.

"What dad?" Eric asked Red.

"I should have done this along time ago." Red said as he placed his foot up Eric's Ass.

"OW! DAD WHAT THE HELL?!" Eric screamed out in pain.

"FOR RUINING MY LIFE! AND RUINING YOURS! NOW GET OUT AND GO BACK TO THE BASEMENT LIKE HEATHER YOU DUMBASS!" Red ordered out.

"Who's Heather?" Eric asked as he was limping now because Red placed his boot out of his ass.

"None of your business!" Red said as Eric limped downstairs as Red dried his eyes out and stopped crying.

" _You don't even care! Do you?!"_ Gwen asked Heather on the Tube.

"Ha, Gwen found out the truth…it was all Heather's fault." Red said as he finished the second can of beer and the next episode played as it was between Bridgette and Duncan to get the marshmallow.

"I like her, Bridgette reminds me of Donna." Red said as Chris gave the marshmallow to Duncan.

"ARE YOU KIDDING?!" Red shouted as he was furious.

" _Okay, that was a shocker. I knew the answer, I am still shocked."_ Chris McLean said on the TV.

"No shit, Sherlock…even Heather was shocked…please let her comeback!" Red said as he wanted Bridgette to comeback but it was over.

" _I'm gonna miss you."_ Geoff said to Bridgette.

" _Me too. You didn't vote me off did you?"_ Bridgette asked him.

" _No way!"_ Geoff answered right back.

"Yeah! There is true love after all!" Red cheered before another episode played out.

"Well what do ya know…Midge 2.0 is eliminated and double-crossed and she does not know it yet." Red said.

" _You mean, I've been helping you all this time and you didn't even like me?_ " Lindsay asked heather.

"Oh, what a surprise." Red said as he was hallway through his beer pack.

" _You are a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little, no good selfish heartless, pushy, bossy, mean bully of a girl!_ " Lindsay told Heather off

"HOLY COW! MIDGE 2.0 told off Jackie 2.0 and it was amazing! I hope Heather gets her comeuppance!" Red said as he began liking it.

"Eh, not bad…those Canadians put on a good show." Red said as his happiness was short lived of course because the show's credits ran and the show ended.

"What?! It's OVER?!" Red gasped in shock.

"That's crazy communist talk! I WANT MORE!" Red said as he was about to go ape.

"Red, relax man…I have the whole collection right here." Hyde said as he got out of the basement and handed Red the entire series on Video Cassette.

"Thanks Steven." Red said as he and Hyde shook hands.

"No problem man and I heard every word…I've seen the whole show, need a viewing buddy?" Hyde asked Red.

"Please, I need to know all about it." Red said as Hyde told Red everything about Total Drama in 35 minutes.

"Wow…who knew?" Red asked him.

"Those Canadians are talented, so quit bashing them." Hyde told Red.

"Okay, but Geoff's singing skills suck." Red said as he laughed a bit.

"Alright now, I gotta get to bed…can you check out the game?" Hyde asked Red.

"Okay, I guess there's enough Total Drama for one day." Red said as he was about to turn on the TV but saw a Woolworth commercial.

 _ **You like Gwen? You like Trent and all of your favorite characters from Total Drama? Now it's your opportunity to get all kinds of gear from the Total Drama Series like shirts, hats, and more at $9.99 at your local "Woolworth" stores near Fatso Burger at Point Place, Wisconsin. Go today and experience Total Drama at it's best!**_

Red stood there as he grabbed his wallet.

"Nah, can't…I'm going to save it on those news Tires for my car…eh what the hell." Red said as he left the house and went to the local Woolworth and bought a Geoff and Bridgette T-Shirt, Gwen and Trent slippers, and some hats for 9.99 as he got home.

"I'm gonna love Total Drama." Red said as he kept watching for another 2 hours until he got upstairs into bed and fell asleep.

 _ **1 day later.**_

"I should have known that my mom was gonna criticize me for having menopause, while she never had it, ooh all hail Queen Bea." Kitty said she got out of the Vista Cruiser.

"At least I have my loving husband to come to." Kitty said as she opened the door and saw Red decked out in Total Drama gear.

"Red Forman, what are you wearing?!" Kitty asked.

"Um…I can explain…while the game was interrupted, I was watching a TV Show called "Total Drama" and I got hooked on it. Steven told me all about it." Red answered.

"I see that." Kitty said before she laughed nervously.

"Hey Mrs. Forman…he placed his boot up Eric's ass because he saw Trent kiss heather, yep…Total Drama is a Canadian Animated Soap Opera, better than any soap on TV." Hyde said to Kitty.

"Then I wanna watch it!" Kitty replied back.

"You can't, you have to wait until tomorrow…I am all exhausted from yesterday, and can we watch an episode tomorrow?" Red asked.

"Sure." Kitty answered.

"Dad…why did you place your foot up my ass?" Eric asked Red.

"I'll explain later now get out." Red said sternly before Eric left.

"Did you literally place your boot up Eric's butt?" Kitty asked him.

"Yes. It was because Heather manipulated Trent into kissing her while Gwen sa the whole thing and I cried like a damn Italian." Red told Kitty.

"Oh My God, Trent kissed Heather?" Kitty asked him as he nodded up and down.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kitty screamed out as she ran up the stairs for her life.

"Geez Kitty, it's just a cartoon." Red said as he followed her upstairs.

"It's so worth it though." Red said to himself before he began to successfully comfort Kitty.

 **Okay Guys, Now…I am sorry that red, Kitty, Eroc, and Hyde were OOC.**

 **Anyway this was my first ever attempt at anything That 70's Show Related.**

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY ULTIMATEWARRIOR4EVER! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!**

 **READ, REVIEW, FAVOR, AND FOLLOW.**


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